Spoiler alert: it wasn’t pretty. I mean, the silks themselves are gorgeous. And those twiggy little tweeny people in our class who FLEW up the dang silks were pretty amazing (seriously – we were in a class with a 13 year old and an 18 year old. WTF?!). But me on aerial silks? A chubby, mid-30-something year old trying to flip around on these things? No bueno. Although, maybe a little bit hilarious. (I mean, if I can’t laugh at myself, what’s the point, right?)
So, why did I want to torture myself like this? Well, in all fairness, I had no idea it was going to be as hard as it was. The artists who fly up and down and around on these things look so ethereal and beautiful! Who doesn’t want to feel like that? Amy and I found a Groupon deal in their Summer Shop to try a 1 hour introductory aerial silks class (with 4 follow-up, hour-long practice sessions). Seemed like a good deal to check it out. I was even excited at first – mostly because Jaya told me it was going to be EASY. (JAYAAAAAA….!!!!)
And, just look at these brightly colored silks, swaying so gently. Don’t they look inviting? Well, let me tell you something. THOSE SILKS LIED TO ME!! There was nothing gentle about those f*@$ers. I have the bruises to prove it. BRUISES! FROM SILK. Hrmph.
I will say, our teacher was a good instructor. She didn’t laugh at me *nearly* as much as she could’ve (which I totally appreciated). Still, she was *maybe* 21 and the size of my forearm. (But hey, I’m not bitter :-)) Amy was a natural at the silks! Look at her flip around! You can check out her post about her experience here.
The first thing you learn is how to tie the silks into a knot which is supposed to support you as you hurtle and thrash your body around it to get into these crazy poses. Then, you have to swing yourself upside down in order to somehow end up right side up on the silks later on. Or something like that. All I know is that it took the better part of an hour for me to throw myself upside down against the silks (and not puke, and not rip through the silks and fall onto the floor). I didn’t advance beyond hanging upside in this first (and lesbehonest, last) class. Actually, you know what, this video will show you just what this experience was like for me. Check it out!
Pretty funny, huh? I remember at one point yelling for help (when I was hanging upside down) because I couldn’t stop swinging around like a lunatic and I was CERTAIN that I was going to swing right into one of the tiny tweeny twiggies in my class.
I can imagine how, with more upper body and core strength, (much less) body mass, and less fear of falling down and cracking my head on a (thick) mat, that this could be a challenging (and fun) workout. Maybe I should’ve tried this a few years (and a few pounds) ago. Or maybe I’ll become a spectacular aerial silks artist after all…but just in the safety and comfort of my dreams.